It’s too much sometimes
What do you do with frustration about your circumstances? Though the sad, angry, or annoyed emotions play havoc with my peace, they don’t need to control my decisions.
About 23 adult sheep or baby lambs died in the past three months. There were many different causes for their deaths, and now I’m currently trying to keep two dog bite victims alive.
Many frustrations arise as this occurs. The veterinarian won’t answer my calls, they are overworked and also have a $250 emergency fee charge upfront. Three years ago, two dogs attacked sheep in Honokaa, and 17 eventually perished, but 30 others suffered cuts and bites that would get infected without antibiotics. Friends and strangers came to help. They donated money, or helped me with giving antibiotic shots during the following weeks.
Fear sets in and I wrestle with it often. Did I give them the correct medication, or is it effective? Will they heal? What is causing their deaths? How can I protect them from their own mistakes?
What about the ones that roll over on their backs by accident, or lie under a tree that fell on them? Then I feel guilty that I didn’t see the problem in time.
My truest recourse for this frustration is to imagine the promised future where there are no tears—a land abounding with milk and honey. I imagine a ranch with water accessible in all paddocks, sheep that don’t need to run away, and sheep that don’t die on their backs or get killed by dogs. I believe Jesus gives rewards now, but the best one is yet to come. I remember Joseph, I remember Abraham, I remember David. They didn’t see the total fulfillment of their promises right away. So I trust and believe in God’s promises in spite of circumstances. Do i do it well… not really. But my decision is firm. He IS FAITHFUL.
