How you are wired

Coming to grips with deep inner longing is a deep and intimate part of my journey these days. Oddly enough, being an Oregonian gave me a great appreciation for the green fir forests and wide expanses of Willamette Valley’s grass fields. Moments ago, tears came as I connected to the fact that living in this place where local people look to sunsets and the Pacific Ocean for beauty, I’m still intimately wired for green…mountains and valleys of a green kingdom. However, I begin to recognize that a yet deeper longing always wired into me is for Eden, a place where you are at rest with one perfect human being, Jesus.

My deep longing arrives from something other than green fields. It’s satisfied in the Spirit of God, yet at present, something in me still demands I do something more. This is at odds with the restful place my Rescuer wants me to live in each day.

This morning, I heard this online pastor say this: “But I think this is the strange thing about hearing passages in the Bible over and over again, or when the gospel becomes familiar: you lose that vital edge that pierces your heart.” This happened to me. Familiar scriptures often triggered the “I already know this” …response. Now it has become “I need this like I need water, and now triggers a deeper relationship with Jesus.

In Jesus, my longing is always heard, and my questions are answered not in my intellect but deeper within. “Be still and know I am God.” It’s the invitation to remain within the presence of King, Creator, Priest, Lover in human form, whose name is Jesus. And He always said, “if you see me, you see the Father.”