October 23, 2024
I still default to the idea that life’s troubles cause me to find solutions by myself. Traumatic incidents create a fear called “something is about to happen again,” I feel it is imperative to prevent it, and most of the time, it’s not even a life and death situation. I’m discovering one source of my anxiety is defaulting to troubleshooting instead of using wisdom. So, if a decision isn’t black and white, I can feel anxiety. I’m moving toward trust, which leads to choosing whether I should constantly be brainstorming or if it really is God’s territory, not mine. Trust invites thinking about God’s generosity as not being earned but given.
God has faithfully provided the same housing since 2007. It’s been shared with four other people at a time, and more than 40 have participated in making it a home. I’ve been a renter and have been content with that. A decision by the owner may or may not mean I get to keep living here. Do I dare even dream of keeping it? To own this place requires far more cash and proof of income than I have. I need to imagine how resources come as God desires while I use wisdom in responding to the crisis. Now I remember God caused the king to ask Nehemiah, “Why are you so sad?” Then He caused a solution far beyond Nehemiah’s wildest dreams.
